I’ve often been confused by the saying, “You can’t go home again.” Of course you can go home again. But can you live there again? Can you go back to being the same way, doing the same things, turning back time? No, you can’t.
But we try at times, don’t we? And we dream it’s possible…or that what we had in our last home is possible again.
My husband and I are from Wisconsin and there’s no doubt that’s our homeland, our parents and families are still there. We’ve moved through several states over the years but spent the most significant time in our married life in San Antonio Texas. That’s where our best friends are, that’s where our church home is, that’s where we owned our first home, and had our best successes. We moved away four years ago this coming summer. We moved away for multiple reasons and by choice. We…no, me…second guesses the decision all the time.
This month I took a trip back to San Antonio and discovered how many changes happened without us, yet how much stayed the same. It’s nice being where people love and respect you, and know your talents and character, and being where your encouragers are. This is what I miss most.
I moon over it in fact. I want to go back. But really? Can I go home again? Have I given our new and beautiful home state a chance? I’m wrestling with the emotional but very logical answer. The reality is I am home here in Virginia. I just need to get to that point of being at home with friends, and encouragement and support systems like a church home, the very things that took 18 years to build in San Antonio. The light bulb went on.
And in the mean time, I’m thinking about another visit because four years was too long.