The Marriage Project: Week One

Who doesn’t like a survey? Mostly me. I don’t like to commit to answers, especially spur of the moment, rather, I like to mull things over, answer open-ended and leave room to change my mind. And, they’re a little like a test. I was awful on Multiple Choice Quizes. They struck fear in me, and probably ruined me for life. Nevertheless, at this stage of the game it couldn’t hurt to take a little survey and see how things turn out. Right?
The Marriage Project includes a very simple survey which is really just a list found in the Project 3 chapter. Both spouses complete the list. It includes:

  1. Date of birth
  2. Anniversary
  3. Other important dates to list
  4. Favorite foods
  5. Favorite restaurants
  6. Favorite dinner
  7. Favorite flowers
  8. Favorite perfume/cologne
  9. Favorite music
  10. Favorite authors or magazines
  11. Favorite clothing store
  12. Sizes are:
  13. Shoe size is:
  14. Favorite Starbucks
  15. Favorite treats

You may say your spouse should just know this stuff. We’ve been married for 36 years so ya think? But really, I’m allowing for not knowing some of that about my husband and I bet he’d be guessing on mine. In the old days I might hold court as the queen of Passiva Aggressiva and hold it against my sweet husband that he didn’t just know this stuff. But author Kathi Lipp rightly suggests that having these things known is far better than a holding a grudge over the result of not knowing. Let’s take that a step farther, surely there should be growth and maturity so why wouldn’t someone have a change in taste for the above? I SO have. Even in the last year favorites changed because we changed locations!

Here’s another thing…in my heart of hearts, I don’t want someone else picking clothing or shoes for me, not even my husband. I am redirecting those things to something else. Favorite book store, hardware store, or antique shop are starts here in our household. Very romantic gifts come from those places!

Just a couple of tips I can add practically speaking. Store your spouses’ list in an Outlook note or in an Outlook or Google calendar with a reminder to review and update in a few months. Or if on paper, take a picture with your phone or PDA. Just don’t forget about it. And add whatever supporting documents that might be nice too, like a menu, or website link, etc.

We coasted through the rest of the week’s projects. If you checked my Google calendar, or you are following along in the book, you know the activities include having a sweet treat, cooking together, taking a walk, and praying together, then date night.

The best part of being home and making dinner is that Bob and I sit down nearly every night together to eat. We’ve also been praying together every night. I mention that because we have rescheduled a few of our project days which includes cooking and praying together, because we had an out of town guest this first week from Friday through Sunday. Or maybe we created a new project?! Invite a guest or two over. I have to say we did better than most visits. We seemed to be working better as a host team. In other words we both decided to choose to serve our guest instead of one or the other of us bearing the weight. Nice!

With my husband’s crazy commute schedule sometimes our evenings are short. As the book suggests it’s so important to be of one mind and talking is the obvious way to get there, but walking or exercising together puts you in motion together. I personally just like being with my husband, bumping into him, holding his hand, observing things around us together. It expands our worlds, no, it creates a together place. It’s like two circles overlapping…that space where they overlap, sort of a communion of time, is sometimes what goes missing I think.

My favorite prayer of the week from the book: Dear God, constantly bring my spouse to mind today and remind me to pray for him/her, so he will know he is covered throughout the day.

So, we end week one with at least 3 of our projects added to the end, plus a makeup date. How are you doing?



About Robin Arnold

Reader, writer, gardener, geek, maker of homes in several states, now settled in Virginia with husband Bob, and Hazel and Wilson the tabby cats.
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One Response to The Marriage Project: Week One

  1. Maureen says:

    Now that I've read this post, I'll go back and read the others I somehow missed.I really like the prayer of the week.

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