It’s just now making it through my family grapevine that I, indeed, have retired from competition on the US Ladies Skating Team, and I won’t be an Olympic hopeful this year. (I could not watch the opening ceremony for that reason.) My family looks forward to me skating every year and they watch every possible moment of skating in order catch a glimpse of my award winning moves, and my elegant bejeweled costumes, with swept back hair and dramatic eye shadow and blush. I never feel more beautiful than when I’m on center ice all sparkly and glistening, fingers pointing in the air, waiting for my music to begin…nevertheless…it was inevitable that I let others move up in the standings after years of occupying the top spots on the podium. They really should have know this day would come because my husband retired from our Pairs and Ice Dancing routines, leaving me on my own to compete in the Singles competitions. Really, he got tired of moving all our trophies and just looked at me and I could read the no more in his eyes.
My sister Gail wrote me today:
I was disappointed to read of your withdrawal from the skating. I know that this would have been your year for the gold. Oh well….perhaps next year.
My sister Gail lives in Wisconsin where famous atheletes have been known to retire, then come back to their sport. Not me. I’m done. Gail needs to come to terms with my decision. It’s nice she has faith in me though.
And my father was moved to write a poem:
I also thought that this would be your year,
you would be a great skate,
would be able to choose,
between two tutus,
would not be a klutz
doing the lutz.
You wouldn’t curl your lip,
doing the flip.
You wouldn’t be awful,
doing the axle.
You would win,
doing the spin.
Stay with your skating,
I don’t want you associating,
With that goof with
the red hair.
What my dad is referring to is my new sport, snowboarding. I’m leading the half pipe team. He doesn’t have to worry though. I think famous redheaded snowboarder, Shaun White, has turned Pro. So I’ll be busy on the slopes working on my half pipe tricks.
Oh, I was also busy making all the athletic coats, pants, snowsuits, and flags you saw in the Olympic Opening Ceremony. I’ve been busy.
Yes I have.
It touches me deeply the faith my family has in me. I would like to thank my family for their constant support no matter what. Above all, I thank My God who has given me strength and the brain cells to overcome all the odds and with vivid imagination and fast fingers I am able to lay out the true story for you here.
On a very serious note, please keep my niece Jill in your prayers. She fell during a basketball game Thursday, and broke both her arms just below the elbow. She is young, so that’s good, but she is in the Coast Guard and far from home. Please pray for speedy healing and good care.
Disclaimer: The above contains fictional representation of a vivid and imaginary life and is not affiliated in any true sense with anything Olympic, skaterly, or sporty in any way, shape, or form. I do know how to sew though, and I could have, if I wanted to, really sewn all that stuff. But I didn’t really. Just so you know.