Post holiday mooky

Feeling mooky I am. You know, blah. If I were a kid, I’d be telling my mom, “I’m bored.” Nevermind there are new toys and games, even new socks and a toothbrush. And really, since I didn’t get everything done and still have gifts to box and ship, this is premature mookiness. I have no business feeling mooky until the last bit of Christmas is out the door. For heaven’s sake I still have gift secrets. That should be enough to keep the Christmas cheer going. But alas, I am mooky.

This explains why my imaginary friend Martha is in Bangkok and my other imaginary friend Padma is in Patagonia. Also why my still other imaginary friends are in exotic places like Cancun and Florida, and why my parents (real) are on their way to Texas. Nothing like going somewhere else to avoid the post holiday winter mookies.

I moved halfway across the country midyear so I’m in a new and exotic-to-me place so that still isn’t a good explanation.

I think feeling mooky has to do with getting what you want and it not being what you expect. It’s like depression but not, disappointment but not, some ashamed but not. There’s longing, and maybe a little disgust. Mooky is what’s left missing or lacking.

I have always thought having a quiet Christmas, at home, just us, was what I wanted more than anything. I longed for it and so wanted that more than packing up and going somewhere, somewhere noisy, crowded with too many relatives, with strange food and strange beds. And certainly more than the years we spent working ourselves to exhaustion because we worked in retail and church worlds. For the first time ever, we had exactly what I dreamed of. And as I sat quietly in my rocker with my tea and the 9 Lessons & Carols from Kings College on the Bose on Christmas day, I so missed family, friends, and the noise and clammer of the holiday. I missed breathing the same air as my dear friends and family.

Here’s the other thing. I missed Worshipping with my Church Families. I missed being proud of my pastorboss, proud of my fellow church staff and laity, and feeling that heart tugging, throat welling, tear squirting glory filled Worship of Jesus our Lord and Savior!

I think the Lord gave me exactly what I wanted this year so I can know better what I need.

Did you have a good Christmas? Did you get or give what you wanted? Needed?


About Robin Arnold

Reader, writer, gardener, geek, maker of homes in several states, now settled in Virginia with husband Bob, and Hazel and Wilson the tabby cats.
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