…Now what? I’ve asked myself that all day. Yesterday with great sadness, a little fear, and after several months of trying to make things better, I gave my resignation to my less than 5-month old, very cool to me, job. Why? It’s personal. Really, I don’t have words that fit together in sentences that make sense. Was it the right decision? The fact it was accepted without fuss and immediately tell me it was the correct thing for me, and for my former employer. It’s just so personal the way people work together, or don’t.
Some of the things I’ve been studying lately is “connecting” and teamwork. What makes a team? What makes how they function a real team? I think it’s how they connect, how they care about each other, how much they want the other to succeed, and how willing they are to help make that happen. Further I think a good team picks up where the other leaves off, has fun together, prays for each other, and comes along side another team member in times of need.
I think what I miss most about my last work experiences were the teams we built together. The support and care for each other. So much so that now that I am far and need comfort, the folks back in Texas are the one and only ones reaching out in prayer and comfort. Clearly, I failed to connect with my new coworkers. Building bridges is hard work. The difficulty of the last few months is that often I felt I was the only one building the bridge. Now I see I didn’t actually build the kind of bridge needed.
So maybe I’ve left a half built bridge, and they’ll be someone the Lord has to finish the job. And it might be right away, or not. My sweet friend pointed out that the Lord calls some people to a situation to be an agent for change, and that it may be brief. He said I need to feel proud of what I have brought to these last few months and that what lies ahead is opportunity for the next way the Lord will use me.
Another, newer friend gave me this scripture:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
He also said:
“God brought you [there] for a reason; albeit short term there was a reason. Seek his guidance and he will take care of you. You did the best you could and God will honor that. There’s a church that needs someone with your skills and abilities. This door is closed another one will open. You and your family are continually in my prayers.”
I so appreciate those words as they warm and wash over me, comfort, affirmation, encouragement. Words like these have been missing.
I know I am not the only one in pain. I have caused pain too. For that I am profoundly sorry. If you are reading this please keep me, and those affected in your prayers as we transition to what comes next.
Tonight I’ll sleep better with the comfort of friend’s prayers surrounding me. Thank you Lord for these wonderful friends and for what lies ahead.