low maintenance or HIGH MAINTENANCE friendship

 
Are you a low maintenance or high maintenance friend?
 
High maintenance: You require multiple weekly, maybe even daily contact via phone, e-mail, text, and mind meld…"I was just thinking about you." Then you proceed to tell me how long it’s been since I called. You are high maintenance if you expect birthday presents on your birthday, and cards and gifts for the rest of the holidays, especially if you give them, and the hints for said cards and gifts are sent via mental telepathy which you expect me to just know. If you get a cold or illness, you require actual care and feeding, hand holding, and flowers. You are high maintenance if you actually keep lists and tick them off to me at some point, pointing out where I missed the gift boat. You are hgh maintenance if you lead with "You used to bring or make me… " You are high maintenance if you expect thank you notes for thank you notes and invitations and want to use the front door.  You are high maintenance if you won’t take your shoes off, won’t let my cat sit on your lap, and want your beer in a glass.
 
Low maintenance: You are low maintenace if you call and leave a message and don’t expect me to call back…silence indicates agreement. You are low maintenance if you do not call attention to my text deficits or e-mail omissions but rather are willing to fill in the blanks and be happy without a return read receipt. You are low maintenance if getting poked on Facebook is enough communication. You are low maintenance if you think a mess is a sign of an interesting person and coming in the back door is fine with you. Oh, and, your Shiner is fine in the bottle.
 
I am not saying there isn’t a place for all kinds of friends, because I have all kinds of friends and love them dearly. They all make life interesting and have something to teach us. Surely that is why the Lord put us together.  I am saying we seem to put limits or expectations on friends. Should we? Should we expect transitions and transformations and opportunity to take friends to other levels beyond our known? Should we expect things to stay the same forever?
 
I want to be the kind of fiend that can sit back and rejoice in a friends glory, in a friends growth, in a friend’s transitions to the next level of maturity, spiritual and otherwise, even if it’s beyond my own, even if it means being left a little behind. I want to be the kind of fiend that listens and loves no matter what and for ever however long.
 
Okay, so come sit by me and tell me how you are.
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About Robin Arnold

Reader, writer, gardener, geek, maker of homes in several states, now settled in Virginia with husband Bob, and Hazel and Wilson the tabby cats.
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